Men Lead A Life Of Quiet Desperation

Men Lead A Life Of Quiet Desperation Posted By Annalakshmi

It is not rare today to read about the lives of women and their kinds of difficulties and depressions they face. With the issues of women becoming more vocal, the support and guidance needed can be found with a little effort. A woman can find the answers she is seeking and the support she needs to overcome the struggles she faces. But there is a quiet group of people who face similar difficulties as women, but it is neither heard of nor spoken of. Who is this group of people? The men.

The Unknown Lives Of Men
I, like many of you reading this was shocked to hear about this a few years ago when I was watching the American talk show, “The Oprah Winfrey Show”. The show’s topic revolved around the lives of a group of men, who were courageous enough to come forth and speak about the quiet lives of desperation they lead. Everyone, including Oprah, was shocked and surprised to hear how these men felt.
   It got me thinking because there is no big difference between men and women, other than the gender. We both feel deeply and are living similar lives. Men also have to balance work and home life, they also have dreams and ambitions for their life, have unrealized dreams which cause them sorrow and have difficulties living their pre-conditioned roles. The main difference, recently, between the problems women and men face is that women have found the courage to voice their feelings and thoughts. Moreover, it is something easily accepted when women talk about their feelings and emotions, whereas men are taught from their boyhood days to be quiet and reserved about their feelings. An easy example of this is the latest TV commercial, featuring Madhuri Dixit that portrays the message that boys don’t cry. Why are we as human beings falling into these pre-conditioned ancient roles? If men were not meant to feel, then they would not have been born with them. But we are all born with feelings and emotions and they get easily hurt regardless of gender.

So, take a good look at the men in your life and ask yourself, if they are feeling the same sadness and depression you feel as a woman? Do they also have dreams that were not realized? Have they lost who they were along the way when life’s mundane activities seemed to take over? In addition, men are the breadwinners in every society. The kinds of pressures that it must put upon them are probably something they don’t speak of. They just play the roles they were born to play, the same as women. So, instead of seeing the man in your life, as a husband, the father of your children, the breadwinner, see him as the person he is and ask yourself if he is happy?

The Solution For The Man In Your Life
At the end of the day, material gifts mean nothing and are only a temporary fix to a problem; the problem of a deep sadness that resides in us all, as we age. A sadness that dwells inside us because of unrealized dreams and the feeling that we simply are no longer living the life we wanted nor recognize who we have become. So just as your husband can do something to alleviate your burdens and help in re-discovering who you are, do the same for him. See where his interests lie and point him towards that direction. We all have desires that were unrealized, so if he has always held a desire to learn the guitar or join in on adventure sports, such as rock climbing, sign him up for guitar classes in pune. Give him the opportunity to spend time doing things he loves so that he also feels like he is living once again. And when both partners feel complete and whole, your life together will be that much more colorful and beautiful. A life complete with happiness and love because the people in the relationship are complete and whole themselves as individuals first.
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